Never Enough
by DarkRaven18
Summary: That smile would haunt Don into forever wondering…did Leo feel the same? light onesided? DonLeo slash. For lj Fanfic100. SEQUEL NOW POSTED AS CHAPTER 2 but it will also remain a separate story on here entitled: Too Much!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own no part of TMNT.

_Ok, so this is a direct result of the fact that I listened to the Life Aquatic soundtrack and got "The Way I Feel Inside" by the Zombies stuck in my head for a few days. That coupled with lots of stress and writers block on pretty much everything else, resulted in this (slightly) stress relieving little fic. Oh and it's for Fanfic100. Prompt: Not Enough._

_Enjoy :)_

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"Well, you've certainly done it this time, Don…"

There it was again. Leonardo paused in his work, giving Don a small, secret smile. Don could tell it was one of those smiles where the meaning was supposed to be clearly understood by the receiver and yet, Don never understood the meaning behind Leo's smiles. It was similar to the smiles sometimes shared between brothers, only those smiles never lasted as long as the ones Leo gave him. Instead those brotherly smiles ended in laughter or the revelation of mischievous plans that had somehow been running through both brother's minds. Leo's smiles were different.

He should have said something. He should have returned Leo's smile or argued that their current situation wasn't his fault, but instead he just shrugged. He tried to hide a wince as he looked away. Leo continued to eye him a moment before returning his attention to bandaging Don's side.

"Want to tell me what's going on?"

Leo's voice was quiet and if he hadn't been so close Don probably wouldn't have heard it. _Sure, Leo, but you won't like it…_ Don frowned, not taking his eyes away from the interesting spot on the wall he had discovered. How long had he been hiding this? Maybe it would be better to tell him…maybe---

Don winced as another bolt of pain shot through him.

"Sorry," Leo mumbled, removing his hands from the first layer of bandage. He moved to get more and Don watched him. What if he did tell Leo? If Don confessed everything right then, that he loved Leo as more than a brother and didn't care about any of the taboos or what anyone would think…would Leo say he loved him too?

Leo turned back towards him, bandages in hand, and Don quickly looked away. Leo's smiles weren't enough. Don could read whatever he wanted into them but there was no way to be sure. If he could only be certain! Then Don could spill everything that was in his heart tonight!

"Donnie," Leo's hands lingered a moment over Don's side before deftly moving to add another layer of bandages. "Talk to me. I've noticed you keeping an extra eye on me. And tonight…well…you didn't have to jump in front of that Dragon. I'll admit I would have gotten cut a bit, I was moving too slow; but Don, you're more hurt now than I would have been! I just…I want to help. What's bothering you?"

Don shyly glanced at Leo. He watched as his older brother concentrated on placing the bandages just right, making sure not to do anything that might cause him more pain. Could Leo ever think of him as more than a brother? Don liked to dream that he could. That when he finally told Leo he'd smile that secret smile and tenderly place a hand on his cheek and say he loved him too…

Leo let out a frustrated sigh, looking up to meet Don's gaze briefly before looking back at the bandages with a frown.

"Is it about the Shredder? He's gone now, Donnie, we're all going to be fine. I'm fine."

Don tilted his head to the side, examining his brother's composed features from the new angle. Calm. Cool. Collected. Caring. Such admirable traits in one that had been through so much, that held such responsibility on his shoulders. True, Don had been scared out of his wits when Leo came crashing through April's apartment window but the fear of Leo being hurt wasn't exactly what was making him extra watchful. He still watched out for Mikey and Raph. Of course he would, he loved them. As brothers. But with Leo it was different. He _loved _Leo in a completely non-brotherly way. No, he loved Leo in the soul mates, meant to be together, can't live without you by my side kind of way; and if anything ever happened to him…

Leo remained silent and Don felt his expression soften as he watched his brother. _It's because I love you, Leo,_ Don admitted silently, giving his brother a tender smile he wouldn't see, _I love you and people watch out for the ones they love._ Leo finished his work and straightened. Don averted his gaze, shifting on the table experimentally. Leo's hand still rested on his bandaged side as if his very touch would make Don able to move without pain.

"Good job," Don murmured. Leo laughed, removing his hand.

"If you think praise will let you slide, you're wrong little brother."

Don gave him a hesitant smile.

"Sorry, Leo. I'm fine, really. Just…have a lot on my mind. Nothing's bothering me, I swear. I got in that punk's way because I thought I could take him before he got to you. If it had been Raph or Mikey I would have done the same."

_God damn it._ Don's insides churned as Leo gave him that smile again. That smile would haunt Don into forever wondering…did Leo feel the same?

"Alright, Donnie, if you say so. Get some rest, I'll call you when dinner's ready."

With a gentle pat on the shoulder, Leo turned and left Don alone on the worktable. Don slid off, padding quietly to his desk. He picked up one of the gadget's he was working on and began to tinker with it mindlessly. Leo really had done a good job bandaging him up. He didn't feel any pain at all. Don's chest constricted at the thought and he sighed, placing the gadget back on the desk. _No physical pain anyway…_

If he could only be sure, he could confess everything he felt inside once and for all. He was obviously doing a sucky job hiding it, he might as well admit it. Don turned, placing his hands on the desk and leaning against it. He stared at the door Leo had just passed through.

If he could only see Leo cared just as much. If only that smile would tell him more. But it was never enough….

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_Poor Donnie :( I've been debating writing something from Leo's point of view, maybe the same scene but just what's going through Leo's mind. What do you think?_


	2. Chapter 2

_Well, here's Leo's pov! Entitled:_ **Too Much.** _Also posted as a separate story, but then I felt kind of stupid not just posting the whole thing connected_ _to_ **Never Enough** _and has been going crazy and adding it as a third chapter so I apologize if all of you on Story alert have been receiving tons of emails about this story being updated! So...tell me what you think :)_

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"Well, you've certainly done it this time, Don…"

Leo's gaze locked with his brother's and the older turtle smiled. It was a habit he kept falling into lately, but Leo couldn't help it. Don's eyes were warm and welcoming even when he sat on the worktable obviously in pain from the side wound he had received on their latest patrol. Don calmly looked back and Leo felt himself getting lost in the depth of those warm brown orbs. Recently, Leo had noticed his brother giving him extra attention and it made his stomach flutter. He told himself it was nothing but he had a feeling it was the cause of his sudden smiling all the time when Donatello was around.

As usual, his brother did not reciprocate the smile. He shrugged and looked away, lamely attempting to hide a wince of pain as the movement aggravated his side wound. Leo watched his brother carefully a moment more before returning to bandaging his side. He contained a sigh. He had to get to the root of what was bothering his brother.

"Want to tell me what's going on?" he asked quietly.

Leo's question was greeted with silence. He waited, giving his brother time to answer. He had a hunch he knew what was bothering Donnie, but his younger brother would have to admit it. Leo couldn't approach the topic himself. First of all, if he was right Don would be embarrassed he was being so obvious and secondly if he was right…Leo quietly took a deep steadying breath.

_I can't think about that right now, I have to concentrate on, Donnie…_The older turtle leaned in closer to finish the layer of bandage and felt himself overpowered with the scents of his brother. The sweat and blood from their fight mixed with the faint smell of stale coffee on his brother's breath. Leo felt his stomach twist and then Don was wincing away from him.

"Sorry," Leo mumbled, embarrassed that his thoughts had led him to press too hard on the bandage. Quickly he removed his hands and went to get more supplies. He could feel Donnie's eyes watching him as he moved and felt a slight shiver run up his spine.

For the millionth time, the blue masked turtle felt the urge to turn around and blurt everything out to his brother but Leo kept himself in check. He never thought his feelings could get so… uncontrollable. The only thing keeping him in line was constant meditation, which was becoming more difficult to find time for with Donnie constantly hovering around him. It was all too much for Leo to handle without going crazy. He already knew the strong scent of his brother and the feeling of Don's eyes avidly watching him would haunt him tonight…

Leo turned back towards Don, bandages in hand, and just caught his brother's eyes darting away. He silently cursed himself for causing the younger turtle so much pain. His brother deserved someone better. Someone not so burdened and easily overwhelmed by such strong emotions.

Though Leo tried to convey everything he was bottling up inside in his smiles, in an attempt to give his brother some sort of comfort, Don never seemed to notice….or maybe Leo was just reading the signs all wrong.

"Donnie," Leo let his hands linger a moment over the younger's side before deftly beginning to add another layer.

"Talk to me. I've noticed you keeping an extra eye on me. And tonight…well…you didn't have to jump in front of that Dragon. I'll admit I would have gotten cut a bit, I was moving too slow; but Don, you're more hurt now than I would have been! I just…I want to help. What's bothering you?"

Leo kept his eyes fixated on the bandages, making sure to be extra careful as he applied the new layer. The last thing he wanted was to cause Donnie more pain. He felt an overwhelming longing in his heart and it was all he could do to keep from cupping his brother's face in his hands and kissing him. _Brother, he's your brother!_ Leo's mind screamed and he fought against biting his lip in panic. It was all too much. The overwhelming feelings, the knowledge of how wrong his thoughts were…and being here alone with Donatello in the lab, his brother wounded and in need of care…

Disturbing yet wonderful images flashed across Leo's mind and he let out a frustrated sigh. Donnie wasn't talking, his mind was becoming more confused by the minute…this had to stop!

The eldest glanced up to meet purple framed eyes briefly as he frowned, mind racing for some way to get his brother talking.

"Is it about the Shredder? He's gone now, Donnie, we're all going to be fine. I'm fine."

Leo was fairly sure this was where the root of the problem lay. If Don did have unbrotherly feelings for him, it was probably just a result of fearing he could be hurt again or maybe even die the next time. In that case, if Leo could just get the younger turtle to admit it maybe they could work through it. Leo would never admit the way he felt…he couldn't. No, he had to help Don get over it and then he would as well because it was wrong for them to be going through this. Wrong for Don to be so kind and watchful and loving and dependable and his eyes shouldn't twinkle so much when he smiled, and his hands shouldn't feel so soft when they lingered on Leo's arm and his mouth shouldn't look so…so…

_Get out of here!_ Leo's mind screamed. Not wanting to arouse his brother's suspicions (though he wouldn't have minded arousing him in another way at that moment…), Leo didn't rush to finish but made sure everything was exactly right before straightening. He watched Don shift experimentally where he sat. Leo kept a hand on his side. _Just in case…_ the blue masked turtle told himself. He wanted to remove all the pain from his little brother. If only he could take it all into himself he would…

"Good job," Don murmured. Leo laughed and removed his hand.

"If you think praise will let you slide, you're wrong little brother."

Don gave him a hesitant smile.

"Sorry, Leo. I'm fine, really. Just…have a lot on my mind. Nothing's bothering me, I swear. I got in that punk's way because I thought I could take him before he got to you. If it had been Raph or Mikey I would have done the same."

_He's lying!_ Leo could tell when any of his brothers lied and it was obvious now that Don was doing just that. Tonight Leo's heart had almost stopped when he turned and saw Don had taken a knife for him. It was such a brave and noble thing to do and the idea that his brother had done it because he loved him was overwhelming. The fact that he was lying now was just another piece of evidence. Leo's heart swelled within his chest.

He smiled at his brother, trying to pour everything he felt into that tiny expression. He wished he could open his mouth and tell Don everything. _You're not alone, Donnie. I'll always be here for you, don't you know that? We could figure it out together... _

"Alright, Donnie, if you say so. Get some rest, I'll call you when dinner's ready."

Leo gently patted his brother on the shoulder before turning to leave. As soon as the door was closed Leo leaned his shell heavily against it. He took calming breaths, making a note of finding out about when dinner would be ready before going to the dojo to meditate. He needed to clear his head and get rid of all the feelings that had welled inside him at being so close to Don. Leo bit his lip as he pushed off of the door and moved slowly towards the kitchen. If he was really as fearless as everyone said he'd walk right back into Donnie's lab and tell the truth. The problem was, he wasn't fearless at all. Between his duty to his family and his sense of honor he could never be with Donatello. It was all just too much…

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_aw pooe Leo :( So, I'm now conflicted...should I write more?_


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